This post might sound like rambling but I am going to go ahead and try and put down the stringy muddly thoughts that currently crowd my head…
It started with a delightfully, messy worktable, strewn with paper, bits and things, cutter blades, scissors, glue and all my fat 8B pencils.
While I am working on some lovely little paper teacups, one part of me is nagging me to clear the mess away before Little Thing (from now on referred to as LT in this post or any in the future) gets back home from school. And I find myself sighing and thinking, “I wish I had a studio with a skylight and white walls, potted plants, big wooden work table and clutter, clutter, clutter!” A place I could disappear into and and swim around in old, baggy clothes and my paints and paper. A place which does not allow any access to husbands or LTs unless they break the damn door down or in LT’s case holler the walls down!
And while I think these terrifying thoughts, I put my cutter blades away and tuck the sharp scissors somewhere high where LT cant get at it. I do these things on auto mode all the time. I go to my bachelor friend’s house and put knives away from the edge of the kitchen platform, I gather all the glass/ceramic cups and put them in the middle of the table where stretched little toes or fingers can’t get at them, while he grimaces at me. You get the drift? If you are a parent who is reading this, I know you have that knowing smile on your face right now.
So here is my big shout out question. How does one work and create in a home with a LT? How? How? How? How does one make the time or the space? How do mums do it? Ok… if you are offended because I am only addressing mums and you think I should be gender neutral, stop reading, go take a walk, take the rubbish out, whatever… the lion’s share of care giving for a child falls on the woman, so go away if you think otherwise. I have been trying to paint and work and create ever since LT came thundering into my life and have been able to do so only rarely. Most of the times, I am working, LT is in my lap grabbing at my pencils/brushes/paper/glue/sanity or insisting that she ‘helps’ me. And I am almost beginning to cry and wonder why did I not put her in daycare or get a nanny?!
No nannies, no daycare. I just cannot entrust the care of my LT to anyone else thank you please (except grandparents, the poor old dears, but they shouldn’t be made to do what is my job all over again when they should be reading, knitting, playing with LT or just plain being). So whats the point really of all this rambling… nothing… I am just saying, all you mums out there, whether you are working from home, outside of home, focusing on childcare and home alone… here is my salute! you are Amazons.
And now I must don my mommy avatar. When she sees me from the window of her school bus, her eyes as big as saucers, she will smile at me, the brightest of smiles and jump into my arms… or she maybe sleepy and confused and her features will settle when she sees me and she will curl up and sleep in my arms, her cheek pressed against my heart, while I carry my precious bundle across the road, up to our home and lay her in bed. It’s all good…